Generously Asking For Help

Are you a natural helper?  Do you find joy and satisfaction in serving others?  Most people do.  Even those who see service as a duty or a moral obligation experience the joy of service, only somewhat less directly.  They are pleased and satisfied more by having done their duty, than by the act of service itself. In either mode, we often receive even more than we give.  When we serve others, whether out of joyful duty, or out of naked sacrifice, the satisfaction that comes from that service can reinforce the attitude of service and generosity, and lead to a lifetime pattern of rewarding behavior.

But what happens when we ourselves need help?  If you are like me, you often find it hard to ask for help in things large and small.  Why?  Because we have an inflated view of our own capacity for self-reliance?  Because we don't want to admit that we just can't do everything for ourselves all of the time?  Because we don't want to be a burden?  There is an easy way out of these self-defeating ideas that will resonate with your generous soul.  When you need help, ask for it out of generosity.  Remember the satisfaction that you feel when you make a difference for somebody else.  When you invite somebody to serve you, you are offering the other an opportunity to experience that same satisfaction.

When you have an opportunity to serve, serve generously.  When you need help, ask generously.  When you are grateful, offer thanks generously.

Dig Deep To Make Ambitious Resolutions Stick

Are you making one or more ambitious New Year's resolutions?  If you hope to change a long-held habit or deeply ingrained behavior, you will have to dig deep.  In essence, you're job is to persuade yourself that the change is more than just a good idea.  It is worthy of true commitment that makes sense and resonates with what you believe about yourself and what you value so that you can develop a new day-to-day attitude to support the new behavior.  If you don't think it through in this way, you risk fighting with yourself to make the resolution stick.  You will be of two minds.  Part of you wants to change, but there is a part of you that remains unconvinced.  This conflict usually leads to failed resolutions.  You simply wear yourself out trying to do something that you don't believe in 100%.

Except for trivial matters, almost all of your choices and based on the network of beliefs, attitudes, and values that has grown in depth and complexity over time, sometimes years, sometimes over the course of your entire life.  As an example, you might resolve to fill up your car at a different gas station because of something you have recently learned about your old favorite's environmental practices. If you feel strongly enough about this issue, you will effortlessly change your routine.  

To keep this real, you do not need professional counseling or deep soul searching to break every bad habit or to start something new and beneficial. Sometimes behavior change can lead to a new attitude.  Sometimes, through sheer force of will you can develop a new habit that will produce its own reward in how you feel and think.  Your might find that willpower alone is enough to get into an effective exercise routine.  You start to see physical benefits.  You feel better.  You automatically convince yourself that it is worth the time and effort and stick with it.  

Whatever your situation and whatever your resolutions may be, don't agonize about them.  If they're a good idea, just go.  Get started.  But if you have tried and failed to do the same thing in the past, take some time to dig deep and work out why your were not successful.  What change do you have to make in your thoughts and feelings foundation to build the proper support for your new choices?