Resolve To Start At The Beginning

Most people don't do particularly well keeping their New Year resolutions. Why? Is it because the resolutions are too ambitious? Is it because we don't really intend to keep them? To both questions, I say no. I suggest that starting with resolutions is like starting a trip in the middle. It simply doesn't work.
Here's an alternative. Start with a change in direction. Make a broad statement about how you want to change yourself or your life. Understand why it is important. Sell yourself on the idea. Maybe you want to improve your fitness and sense of well-being. Great! Start there. The key is being clear about your central purpose.
Once you are committed to a direction, make a small number of specific resolutions (five or less) that move you toward the goal. Be specific. What measurable outcome do you expect for each resolution? How will you define success? Now you have the beginning of a roadmap.
Finally, plan. You have a broad goal, and the specific outcomes that represent its attainment. Now you must answer the question, how? Take some time and plan. What concrete actions are needed to carry out each resolution? What must you stop, start, or continue? What resources beyond your own resolve do you need? How will you measure progress? How will you make adjustments along the way? As the saying goes, if you fail to plan, you plan to fail.
There it is. No more empty resolutions for you. Set goals that have motivating power. That is where must start. Once you understand your motives and can envision your goal, make logical, achievable resolutions that define your journey. Plan the specific steps. Follow your plan.
In short, here's the formula that I suggest for your consideration:
1. (Why?) Define your central purpose or goal.
2. (What?) Elaborate on it on the form of resolutions.
3. (How? When?) Make a realistic plan and follow it.
Now go. You can do it. Create a turning point and be blessed in 2014. Happy New Year!

Self-Confidence, A Napoleon Hill Remix

#2 in a series on Think and Grow Rich (1937) by Napoleon Hill

The great strength of Hill's book is a methodical approach to marshaling our inner resources to achieve our goals and lead lives of significance. One of the building blocks in that approach  is his "Self-Confidence Formula" (p. 45 in the Tribeca Books Edition). Throughout the work, these building blocks depend on the (debatable) premise that  new attitudes inevitably lead to new behavior.

Here I offer a new version of the Self-Confidence Formula, condensed for better verbal economy and adapted to reflect my values and worldview. I have preserved the essential concepts of Hill's five steps, especially the two-part construct of awareness, followed by action (I understand... I will...).  If I depart significantly from the original, it is in step five, where I move from Hill's secular ethics toward a remix based on Christian orthodoxy, following the writing of Paul the Apostle.

Hill's self-confidence formula remixed:

1. I know that I have the ability to achieve my goals.I will apply that ability with persistent, continuous action.
2. I realize that my actions will follow my attitudes.
    I will invest time, daily, refining a clear mental picture of the person I am becoming.
3. I recognize the power of confidence and positive thinking.
    I will invest time, daily, reflecting on my successes, past, present, and future.
4. I see the importance of specific, detailed goals.
    I will put my goals in writing so that I can plan with confidence.
5. I understand that my goals are unimportant if they are not pleasing in God’s eyes.  I will do all things excellently with compassion, kindness, gentleness, humility, patience, and most of all love, giving thanks at all times and in all circumstances.

An even shorter remix

1. I am able.
   I will apply myself.
2. I will develop a clear mental picture of the future.
   I will act accordingly.
3. Action follows attitude.
   I will cultivate a positive outlook.
4. Success requires planning.
   I will plan to succeed.
5. In all things, I will consider the ultimate questions, the ultimate Person and the needs of others.

Start, Continue and End With Step Five

If you try to adopt any self-talk, self-help, or personal development program, you will probably fail in the long run unless you start by examining your core values and aligning your resolutions with them.  For this reason, I say start with Step Five, continue with Step Five, and end with Step Five.

Hill's Original Step Five 

I fully realize that no wealth or position can long endure, unless built upon truth and justice, therefore, I will engage in no transaction which does not benefit all whom it affects. I will succeed by attracting to myself the forces I wish to use, and the cooperation of other people. I will induce others to serve me, because of my willingness to serve others. I will eliminate hatred, envy, jealousy, selfishness, and cynicism, by developing love for all humanity, because I know that a negative attitude toward others can never bring me success. I will cause others to believe in my, because I will believe in them, and in myself.

That's pretty good stuff but too wordy for my taste. It could easily be three separate steps, one related to justice, one related to the "law of attraction", and another having to do with self-efficacy.  

Hill's Step Five is good but not quite in laser sharp alignment with my core values and worldview. Reworking this for my own purposes inevitably leads me to the scriptures. There is not a lot that is seriously wrong with Hill's version, it just doesn't go to the specific, deep foundations that I require. My thoughts on this point are informed by Paul's Letter to the Colossians 3:12-14 & 17 (NIV).

¹² Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility,gentleness and patience. ¹³ Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. ¹⁴ And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. 

¹⁷ And whatever you do,whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

I will therefore start, continue and end, in all things considering the ultimate questions, the ultimate Person and the needs of others. I will fail from time to time. When I do, I will forgive myself, because He has already forgiven me. I will pick myself up, dust myself off, and carry on.

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References

Hill, N. (1937) Think and grow rich. Tribeca Books / Soho Books

(NIV) THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide. 

Book Review: Think And Grow Rich (Napoleon Hill)

First in a series on Think and Grow Rich (1937) by Napoleon Hill

Over the last several months, a few friends have suggested that I read Think and Grow Rich (1937) by Napoleon Hill.  I resisted it until recently. I didn't like the title. I didn't like the emphasis on money, money, money. Most recently however, I asked Kevin Knebl how to approach certain personal goals. His answer, "Read, no STUDY Think and Grow Rich". So I did. If you ask a specific question of somebody you respect, you ought to give their answer a fair try.

Hill's book is an early classic of personal success and self-help. It probably belongs on your must-read list even if you're not using it to further your personal goals but just to understand the evolution of the genre.

In spite of the enduring popularity of Think and Grow Rich, I had a hard time navigating some passages. I was troubled by some of the things that Hill treats as axiomatic. The money, money, money mantra borders on idolatrous materialism. Hill has some ideas about spirituality and cosmology that are at times heretical and at other times just plain goofy. Written in 1937, it contains a number of dated references and some ideas that seem naive in the light of the further unfolding of history. However, to dismiss this book because of these weaknesses (or conflicts with my personal opinions, if you prefer) would be to foolishly discard a lot of good. Most valuable are numerous mental models which, along with some excellent pep talks, have the potential to help the reader reach a new level of commitment to any worthy goal and the self-confidence required to achieve it.

I'm glad that I finally invested the time to read Think and Grow Rich. Over the next few weeks, I will continue to study and write about certain passages. Overall, I imagine a tree-lined boulevard in Chicago with the trees leafing out and flowers in bloom under a bright spring sky. The big picture is impressive. The view ahead is bright and beautiful, but it was a rough winter and there are many potholes where your can blow a tire or break an ankle. Take from it whatever good you will, and find your own way to navigate the rough spots. I do not recommend that you look here for your deepest guiding philosophy and worldview. But, if you are working on your commitment and confidence, do not neglect this classic.

21 Things To Give Up For Lent (1-7)

1. FEAR "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." 2 Timothy 1:7
2. DISCONTENT "Gratitude changes the pangs of memory into a tranquil joy." Dietrich Bonhoeffer
3. GOSSIP "Gossips can't keep secrets, so never confide in blabbermouths." Proverbs 20:19 (The Message)
4. IRRITABILITY "Fools show their annoyance at once, but the prudent overlook an insult." Proverbs 12:16 (NIV)
5. SELF-RIGHTEOUSNESS "If you judge people, you have no time to love them." Mother Teresa
6. DESPAIR "Everything that is done in the world is done by hope." Martin Luther
7. SILENCE "Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter." Martin Luther King, Jr.

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Dig Deep To Make Ambitious Resolutions Stick

Are you making one or more ambitious New Year's resolutions?  If you hope to change a long-held habit or deeply ingrained behavior, you will have to dig deep.  In essence, you're job is to persuade yourself that the change is more than just a good idea.  It is worthy of true commitment that makes sense and resonates with what you believe about yourself and what you value so that you can develop a new day-to-day attitude to support the new behavior.  If you don't think it through in this way, you risk fighting with yourself to make the resolution stick.  You will be of two minds.  Part of you wants to change, but there is a part of you that remains unconvinced.  This conflict usually leads to failed resolutions.  You simply wear yourself out trying to do something that you don't believe in 100%.

Except for trivial matters, almost all of your choices and based on the network of beliefs, attitudes, and values that has grown in depth and complexity over time, sometimes years, sometimes over the course of your entire life.  As an example, you might resolve to fill up your car at a different gas station because of something you have recently learned about your old favorite's environmental practices. If you feel strongly enough about this issue, you will effortlessly change your routine.  

To keep this real, you do not need professional counseling or deep soul searching to break every bad habit or to start something new and beneficial. Sometimes behavior change can lead to a new attitude.  Sometimes, through sheer force of will you can develop a new habit that will produce its own reward in how you feel and think.  Your might find that willpower alone is enough to get into an effective exercise routine.  You start to see physical benefits.  You feel better.  You automatically convince yourself that it is worth the time and effort and stick with it.  

Whatever your situation and whatever your resolutions may be, don't agonize about them.  If they're a good idea, just go.  Get started.  But if you have tried and failed to do the same thing in the past, take some time to dig deep and work out why your were not successful.  What change do you have to make in your thoughts and feelings foundation to build the proper support for your new choices?

Thinking Ahead About New Year's Resolutions That Stick

If you’re like me at all, you may have made any number of New Year’s resolutions over the years, only to fail miserably at keeping them, sometimes after some weeks or months, sometimes after only days.  So how do we make resolutions that we will keep?  It helps to start thinking about them now, instead of coming up with a spur-of-the-moment good idea on December 31.  So, what makes an idea a “better idea” and one that is more likely to stick?  Most of our hasty resolutions are based only on the anticipated benefits.  We fall short when we run into the costs of keeping the resolution, costs that we are unprepared to pay.  Sometimes we lack the necessary support in our family and social circles.  Sometimes, we just don’t believe in ourselves.  We expect ourselves to fail.

Here are five questions.  Ask yourself each of them and answer honestly.  Then you will have a well thought-out resolution that will lead to a permanent and meaningful change in behavior.

1. What are the benefits?  These are the same things that come to mind when we come up with those good ideas that don’t last.  The difference however is this.  Spend a little time thinking through all of the benefits, not just the obvious ones, short term and long term. Sell yourself on the benefits.  Make a good case.
2. What are the costs?  What is it going to cost you in time, effort, discomfort and inconvenience to see this through?  Prepare yourself to accept whatever sacrifices will come your way.
3. What about other people?  What are others going to have to do to support me in this?  What changes must my family make?  My coworkers?  Others?  Will they be supportive?  How do you get them behind you?  As you line up support, you also create beneficial external pressure to stick with your plan.
4. What do you think about yourself?  Think about your ability to follow through and make positive change in your life.  Where have you had success in the past?  Envision repeating that success.  Make a plan to incorporate what went right and to avoid what went wrong. 
5. Is your goal realistic?  This is both the first and the last question.  Don’t make resolutions that are beyond anybody’s realistic ability to achieve.  Don’t try to lose 100 pounds by Valentine’s Day.  Create a plan to lose weight gradually and safely through sustainable changes in your habits.  Are you deeply in debt?  You probably won’t dig your way out by March, but you can resolve to make a two-year or three-year plan and to live with a spending plan that is below your income.  The surest way to fail is to attempt the impossible. 

In short…five actions:

• Plan a realistic goal.
• Focus on every way that you and others will benefit.
• Be prepared for the costs and to make the necessary sacrifices. 
• Enlist the support of others.
• Believe in yourself.