5 Minute Reflection #14.08: Change a life in 5 minutes or less

Has a friend or family member ever passed away or left your life permanently in some other way before you had the opportunity or the courage to say something important - something that you now wish you would have said? It happens to all of us. 

I'm not talking about things you think you should have said to make yourself feel better, to vent some anger, or for other negative or self-serving purpose. I'm talking about the short, affirming conversations that can positively change another person's perspective, maybe even alter the trajectory of their life. 

I will be forever grateful for a friend who in about fifteen words and less than ten seconds changed the way I think about my voice, my right to speak up and my self-confidence.

Is there anything like that remaining unsaid between you and a friend, a family member, or anybody else who values your opinion? Think about it. There's probably somebody you should call tomorrow. Maybe there's more than one. Maybe you have a whole list. Spend five minutes right now thinking about it. Then make an appointment with yourself to initiate that conversation. Your investment of five minutes might change a life. Do not delay.

5 Minute Reflection #14.02: If You See Something, Say Something

"If you see something, say something." We hear that continuously in airports, train stations and other public places. It's about fighting terrorism. It's about trusting no person, no parcel, no behavior that appears out of place. It's also about resisting the temptation to look the other way, the temptation to avoid involvement. 

Today is the 30th anniversary of the death of Martin Niemöller, a German Lutheran pastor known for his outspoken pacifism. Ironically, Niemöller was a successful and decorated U-Boat commander in World War I. After the war, following in his father's footsteps, he took a sharp turn and was ordained a Lutheran Minister in 1924. Niemöller wrote about this journey in a book called, Vom U-Boot zur Kanzel (From U-boat to Pulpit). 

First a supporter of Hitler and the Third Reich, he took another sharp turn and became an outspoken opponent. Niemöller was arrested several times and spent eight years in concentration camps until the liberation of Dachau in 1945. He was a contemporary and colleague of theologians Karl Barth and Dietrich Bonhoeffer in the Confessional Church and the Pastors' Emergency League, respectively. For his anti-Nazi activities, Bonhoeffer was executed by hanging in the Flossenbürg concentration camp at dawn on April 9, 1945, just two weeks before the camp's liberation. 

Niemöller has been criticized for early alignment with Hitler and for various apparently anti-Semitic statements. However, former cellmate Leo Stein having escaped to America, wrote a 1941 article about Niemöller for The National Jewish Monthly. Stein's article suggests that Niemöller's repudiation of the Nazi Regime and all of its policies was ultimately complete and unequivocal. Nevertheless, Niemöller himself never denied his own guilt during the early years of the Nazi regime. In 1959, asked about his former attitudes by Alfred Wiener, a Jewish researcher into racism and war crimes, Niemöller stated that his eight-year imprisonment by the Nazis became the sharp turning point in his life, after which he viewed things differently.

Today, Niemöller is remembered for the following saying:

First they came for the communists, and I did not speak out — 
because I was not a communist;
Then they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out — 
because I was not a socialist;
Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out — 
because I was not a trade unionist;
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out — 
because I was not a Jew;
Then they came for me — 
and there was no one left to speak out for me.

May I suggest two points of reflection?

1. Never be afraid to take a sharp turn in your point of view. It would be a shame to require seven years in a concentration camp to rise above the fog.
2. If you see something, say something.

Resolve To Start At The Beginning

Most people don't do particularly well keeping their New Year resolutions. Why? Is it because the resolutions are too ambitious? Is it because we don't really intend to keep them? To both questions, I say no. I suggest that starting with resolutions is like starting a trip in the middle. It simply doesn't work.
Here's an alternative. Start with a change in direction. Make a broad statement about how you want to change yourself or your life. Understand why it is important. Sell yourself on the idea. Maybe you want to improve your fitness and sense of well-being. Great! Start there. The key is being clear about your central purpose.
Once you are committed to a direction, make a small number of specific resolutions (five or less) that move you toward the goal. Be specific. What measurable outcome do you expect for each resolution? How will you define success? Now you have the beginning of a roadmap.
Finally, plan. You have a broad goal, and the specific outcomes that represent its attainment. Now you must answer the question, how? Take some time and plan. What concrete actions are needed to carry out each resolution? What must you stop, start, or continue? What resources beyond your own resolve do you need? How will you measure progress? How will you make adjustments along the way? As the saying goes, if you fail to plan, you plan to fail.
There it is. No more empty resolutions for you. Set goals that have motivating power. That is where must start. Once you understand your motives and can envision your goal, make logical, achievable resolutions that define your journey. Plan the specific steps. Follow your plan.
In short, here's the formula that I suggest for your consideration:
1. (Why?) Define your central purpose or goal.
2. (What?) Elaborate on it on the form of resolutions.
3. (How? When?) Make a realistic plan and follow it.
Now go. You can do it. Create a turning point and be blessed in 2014. Happy New Year!

21 Things To Give Up For Lent (8-14)

8. STAGNATION "Change your thoughts and you change your world." Norman Vincent Peale
9. PROMISE BREAKING Remember your promises. Deliver. Period.
10. PROCRASTINATION "If you put off everything till you're sure of it, you'll never get anything done." Norman Vincent Peale
11. RESENTMENT. "Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die." Malachy McCourt
12. INCONSISTENCY. "I try to be the same person I was yesterday." Colin Powell
13. SHORTSIGHTEDNESS. "Imagination is the true magic carpet." Norman Vincent Peale
14. VERBOSITY. "Brevity is the soul of wit." William Shakespeare

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