21 Things To Give Up For Lent (15-21)

15. GREED "If you live squinty-eyed in greed and distrust, your body is a dank cellar." Matthew 6:22-23 (MSG)
16. THINKING YOU KNOW IT ALL "It's what you learn after you know it all that counts." John Wooden
17. HOARDING "We are not cisterns made for hoarding, we are channels made for sharing." Billy Graham
18. ENVY "Envy is an insult to oneself." Yevgeny Yevtushenko
19. BOREDOM "Boredom is rage spread thin." Paul Tillich 
20. RAGE "People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing." Will Rogers
21. DOUBT "Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1

Follow my tweets on Lent, and all sorts of other topics http://twitter.com/#!/doug_picirillo

21 Things To Give Up For Lent (8-14)

8. STAGNATION "Change your thoughts and you change your world." Norman Vincent Peale
9. PROMISE BREAKING Remember your promises. Deliver. Period.
10. PROCRASTINATION "If you put off everything till you're sure of it, you'll never get anything done." Norman Vincent Peale
11. RESENTMENT. "Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die." Malachy McCourt
12. INCONSISTENCY. "I try to be the same person I was yesterday." Colin Powell
13. SHORTSIGHTEDNESS. "Imagination is the true magic carpet." Norman Vincent Peale
14. VERBOSITY. "Brevity is the soul of wit." William Shakespeare

Follow my Tweets on Lent, and all sorts of other topics http://twitter.com/#!/doug_picirillo

21 Things To Give Up For Lent (1-7)

1. FEAR "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." 2 Timothy 1:7
2. DISCONTENT "Gratitude changes the pangs of memory into a tranquil joy." Dietrich Bonhoeffer
3. GOSSIP "Gossips can't keep secrets, so never confide in blabbermouths." Proverbs 20:19 (The Message)
4. IRRITABILITY "Fools show their annoyance at once, but the prudent overlook an insult." Proverbs 12:16 (NIV)
5. SELF-RIGHTEOUSNESS "If you judge people, you have no time to love them." Mother Teresa
6. DESPAIR "Everything that is done in the world is done by hope." Martin Luther
7. SILENCE "Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter." Martin Luther King, Jr.

Follow my Tweets on Lent, and all sorts of other topics http://twitter.com/#!/doug_picirillo

Dig Deep To Make Ambitious Resolutions Stick

Are you making one or more ambitious New Year's resolutions?  If you hope to change a long-held habit or deeply ingrained behavior, you will have to dig deep.  In essence, you're job is to persuade yourself that the change is more than just a good idea.  It is worthy of true commitment that makes sense and resonates with what you believe about yourself and what you value so that you can develop a new day-to-day attitude to support the new behavior.  If you don't think it through in this way, you risk fighting with yourself to make the resolution stick.  You will be of two minds.  Part of you wants to change, but there is a part of you that remains unconvinced.  This conflict usually leads to failed resolutions.  You simply wear yourself out trying to do something that you don't believe in 100%.

Except for trivial matters, almost all of your choices and based on the network of beliefs, attitudes, and values that has grown in depth and complexity over time, sometimes years, sometimes over the course of your entire life.  As an example, you might resolve to fill up your car at a different gas station because of something you have recently learned about your old favorite's environmental practices. If you feel strongly enough about this issue, you will effortlessly change your routine.  

To keep this real, you do not need professional counseling or deep soul searching to break every bad habit or to start something new and beneficial. Sometimes behavior change can lead to a new attitude.  Sometimes, through sheer force of will you can develop a new habit that will produce its own reward in how you feel and think.  Your might find that willpower alone is enough to get into an effective exercise routine.  You start to see physical benefits.  You feel better.  You automatically convince yourself that it is worth the time and effort and stick with it.  

Whatever your situation and whatever your resolutions may be, don't agonize about them.  If they're a good idea, just go.  Get started.  But if you have tried and failed to do the same thing in the past, take some time to dig deep and work out why your were not successful.  What change do you have to make in your thoughts and feelings foundation to build the proper support for your new choices?

Thinking Ahead About New Year's Resolutions That Stick

If you’re like me at all, you may have made any number of New Year’s resolutions over the years, only to fail miserably at keeping them, sometimes after some weeks or months, sometimes after only days.  So how do we make resolutions that we will keep?  It helps to start thinking about them now, instead of coming up with a spur-of-the-moment good idea on December 31.  So, what makes an idea a “better idea” and one that is more likely to stick?  Most of our hasty resolutions are based only on the anticipated benefits.  We fall short when we run into the costs of keeping the resolution, costs that we are unprepared to pay.  Sometimes we lack the necessary support in our family and social circles.  Sometimes, we just don’t believe in ourselves.  We expect ourselves to fail.

Here are five questions.  Ask yourself each of them and answer honestly.  Then you will have a well thought-out resolution that will lead to a permanent and meaningful change in behavior.

1. What are the benefits?  These are the same things that come to mind when we come up with those good ideas that don’t last.  The difference however is this.  Spend a little time thinking through all of the benefits, not just the obvious ones, short term and long term. Sell yourself on the benefits.  Make a good case.
2. What are the costs?  What is it going to cost you in time, effort, discomfort and inconvenience to see this through?  Prepare yourself to accept whatever sacrifices will come your way.
3. What about other people?  What are others going to have to do to support me in this?  What changes must my family make?  My coworkers?  Others?  Will they be supportive?  How do you get them behind you?  As you line up support, you also create beneficial external pressure to stick with your plan.
4. What do you think about yourself?  Think about your ability to follow through and make positive change in your life.  Where have you had success in the past?  Envision repeating that success.  Make a plan to incorporate what went right and to avoid what went wrong. 
5. Is your goal realistic?  This is both the first and the last question.  Don’t make resolutions that are beyond anybody’s realistic ability to achieve.  Don’t try to lose 100 pounds by Valentine’s Day.  Create a plan to lose weight gradually and safely through sustainable changes in your habits.  Are you deeply in debt?  You probably won’t dig your way out by March, but you can resolve to make a two-year or three-year plan and to live with a spending plan that is below your income.  The surest way to fail is to attempt the impossible. 

In short…five actions:

• Plan a realistic goal.
• Focus on every way that you and others will benefit.
• Be prepared for the costs and to make the necessary sacrifices. 
• Enlist the support of others.
• Believe in yourself.

Hope for Haiti

I was looking through today's mail just as the Hope for Haiti benefit began on just about every television network. One piece of mail was from Compassion International encouraging us to take a few minutes to write to a beautiful girl whom we have sponsored for several years, Clairciane. She lives in Haiti, west of Port au Prince, about 20 miles from the epicenter.

Over 6o,000 children are enrolled in Compassion's programs in Haiti, about 10% of them in Port au Prince. Approximately 50 of Compassion's centers were affected by the earthquake. So far, Compassion has reports from only 28 of them. At least 100 children are known to have died, dozens injured and hundreds left homeless. Who knows how many have lost a father or mother, a sister or a brother?

I was struck by the timing as I opened the mail today. When was that mailing planned? Almost certainly before the earthquake. That it would arrive today and that I would find it at the very beginning of the TV benefit is only a small thing. But it is a poignant reminder that we are all in this journey together. We hope to hear soon that Clairciane and her family are safe. We pray and wait with hope, hope for Clairciane, hope for Haiti.

How soon we forget!

Or shall I put that in the form of a question, "How soon will we forget?"

How soon before most of us forget about Haiti? I hate to seem a cynic but I know how we are. Once the shocking news coverage slows down, we'll begin to forget and I fear that we will mostly forget long before the misery is relieved.

Feel free to point out why I'm wrong. I'd love to be wrong about this.